The Story of Stella

Oh my goodness, I am in love with Stella "Arf" Tois.  Stella is our two month old lab/retriever mix we just adopted from Memphis Animal Services (Shelter).

The only think we know about Stella is that she was picked up by MAS on 12/15/12 as a stray.  WHO COULD LET THIS SWEET PUPPY GO?!?!

She's been in our home for only one full day, and I can't even begin to think about life without her.  I used to be one of those who kinda made fun of crazy dog-lovers.  Now, I'm one of them.

I'm already stressing about how I'm going to handle leaving her at home when I go back to work in a little over a week.  It makes me tear up just thinking about it.

We met Stella on Wednesday.  I have to be honest.  I took notice, but wasn't immediately drawn to Stella.  I had my eyes set on another dog that looked like Marley from Marley and Me.  When we went to check her out a little bit closer, another family was also looking at her.   I was ready to jump on it and snatch that dog before the other family, but Michael said no.  They had a little girl, and Michael wasn't about to take her away.  I was pretty upset.  

Then, we walked past Stella's cage again.  She was next to a terrier.  We were really looking at both, but the terrier was going a little crazy.  She seemed like the jealous type.  Stella was doing her part to get our attention, but she wasn't acting crazy.  Michael really really liked her.  He especially liked her brindle color.  The only problem was, she wasn't ready to be adopted.  We would have to come back on Friday to actually adopt her.  

We put our name on a list for her.  No one else had a name on her list.  The terrier had four!  Craziness!  Putting our name on the list did not guarantee us getting her.  We would have to be at the shelter Friday at 11:00.  If we were there at 11:00, she was ours.  (This of course was only if there was nothing wrong with her after she was observed for another two days.)

I cannot tell you how long those two days were.  At this point, I too had fallen in love with Stella.  She just had the sweetest personality.

Finally, Friday came.  Michael had to work, so Mom and Andrew met me at the shelter.  When the doors opened at 11:00, it was like a mad dash for people to get to their dog's cage before anyone else.  I was nervous, because I didn't think it would be that chaotic.  I thought that since I was there, I would get her.  That was probably the case, but I wasn't taking chances.  I ran back to her cage and got her paperwork, and came back up front.  

Thank goodness, we were one of the first five families to check out Friday, because they were only spaying the first five before Christmas.  This meant, we would get to get her either Saturday or Sunday.  I was ecstatic!  

I was out running errands on Saturday when I got the call.  We would be allowed to pick her up at 1:00.  I bought a kennel, and brought her home.  I didn't even put her in the kennel because I just wanted to love on her the whole way home.  She set in my lap.  She was shaking shaking!  I think she was so nervous.  There is no telling what her life was like before we adopted her.  

She has brought so much joy to our lives.  Joy that we desperately needed.  I'm already in full mommy-mode worried about her first check-up.  I hope everything checks out okay!  I'm so thankful we met her.  She is truly the best Christmas present I've ever gotten!

Also, if I thought Michael was hot before the dog, seeing him with a dog... I can't stop staring!  

Miscarriage Followup

I may have crossed the threshold of TMI.  I tweeted about my post-miscarriage blood work that I had today.  

Some people are probably thinking, why is that crazy girl tweeting about this stuff?  But honestly, I really want to share it.  

I'm still so angry and frustrated.  I'm moving past it, and I can smile, but I'm pissed off.  Sometimes it helps to let the world know what I'm going through.  People treat you better.  

Also, if I have to look at your freaking ultrasound pics and pregnancy complaints on facebook and twitter, you can look at a few pictures of the blood work I am going through to figure out why I can't keep a baby (fetus) past 6 and a half weeks.  To the person I'm following on twitter that complained about being "sick and sober" for the last three months, I'd gladly trade places with you.  I dream of being where you are.  I'm pissed off that I have a glass of wine sitting next to me. 

~

I'm trying to somehow find humor in all of this, because having a miscarriage completely sucks.  Having two makes you want to punch 80% of the people you come into contact with.  I've found several blogs that really put a funny spin on on the whole miscarriage thing.  Only those who are in this awful club are allowed to make jokes.  I've also found some serious, more heartbreaking blogs.  Both types help me cope.  Sometimes I want to laugh about how nutso all of this is.  Other times, I want to cry and stay on my couch all day. 

*Be aware, some of these blogs use adult language.  I don't blame them.  I've used a lot of adult language in the last six months.  

I read one blog, that of course I can't find anymore, that talked about how horrendous the whole transvaginal ultrasound is.  In it, she compares the experience to the doctor using a joyce stick in her vajayjay.  She also talked about how the doctor kept saying how awesome her ovaries were, like he wanted to date them.  I loved reading what this lady had to say, because it was all so true.  I too felt that same way.  Even today at the doctor, he talked about how my uterus felt great or something.  

Some of the blogs have really good advice.  The following came from Pregnant Chicken.  

Advice on what to say when someone you know has a miscarriage:  

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I had a miscarriage too. Let me know if you ever want to talk about it.

I don't know what to say but I'm here for you and I want to help.

Do you want to talk about it?

Offer to help with housework, babysitting, meals, etc.

Call and check in because the pain doesn't go away in a couple days.

This blog, really touches my heart.  Everything she feels, I feel.  Especially, the following words:

Feelings I’m ashamed of? Cattiness/jealousy of those in our lives who have become pregnant since we lost our baby.

What I know for sure? That this baby was our first baby…that I will never forget him or her…and that although the hole may get smaller and smaller as time goes on, there will ALWAYS be a hole in my heart for that baby that will never be filled.

~

Today,  I had my post-miscarriage followup.  I walked into the office, ironically, praying I wasn't pregnant anymore.  If I had been, I would have to have to have had a D and C.  

I elected with this miscarriage to not have a D and C, because it was so freaking expensive when we had the first miscarriage.

If it happens again, (PLEASE PRAY IT DOESN'T!) I would probably go back to having another D and C.  The reason being, when trying to pass the baby on your own, you have to deal with a lot (A LOT!) of unpredictable bleeding.  I actually ended up in the Emergency Room because the bleeding was out of control.  I also had to take off three days of work. 

Honestly, I should have taken off two weeks of work to recover emotionally, but I would have been facing so much when I came back, that it just wasn't worth it.   

Anyway, so today it was all about checking to make sure that the baby had passed.  Thank goodness, the pregnancy test they gave me came up negative. 

Now, it's on to the good stuff.  Now we can hopefully get some answers as to why me, a healthy 28 year old, can't get pregnant, while 65% of my facebook friends get pregnant at the drop of a hat.  

I had blood work done.  Here are the many tubes I had to look forward to filling with my blood.  

Here they are, I didn't cry or pass out or anything.  (Thank goodness Michael couldn't get out of work today, because if he could have, he would have passed out watching this.)

Please pray that these tubes of blood give us some answers!  

~

If I had to guess what's causing the miscarriages, my guess would be low progesterone levels.  I have yet to really feel pregnant.  I just wonder if something is wrong there.  From what I've read, this would be a pretty easy fix.  Maybe we'll find out that this is an easy fix.  

100 Places to Eat in Memphis: Molly's La Casita

I am knocking some places out this week from the 100 Places to Eat in Memphis blog.  Mom has been a great partner in crime as we are out for Christmas break.  

Today, we went to Molly's La Casita.  The item you're supposed to get is Bruce's Nachos.  

Bruce's Nachos

This picture doesn't do it justice.  This dish was huge!  Mom and I loved it.  We weren't able to finish, so my dad is getting another meal tonight!  

I also got the chimichanga.  It was really good too!  I wasn't crazy about the beans.

The salsa there was actually the best I'd ever had. 

The cool thing about this restaurant was the service.  It was great!  Also, the atmosphere is crazy cool.  The place has been on Overton Square for 30 years.  

It was such a fun day with Mom!

100 Places to Eat in Memphis: Cafe Palladio's Coconut

At Cafe Palladio, the 100 Things to Eat in Memphis blog says you are supposed to get the coconut cake!

I can't say a lot about the inside of this place, because Mom actually picked up the cake to go, but the cake is PHENOMENAL.  I am not really a coconut person, but this cake is just so moist and so delicious, you have to give it a try!  I wish my pictures were better!

There is no excuse for the terrible quality of this picture. 

Or this one!

100 Places to Eat in Memphis: Fuel's French Fry Trio

I've never been to Fuel before.  I had really never heard of it until I saw it on the 100 Places to Eat in Memphis Before You Die blog.  That's my favorite thing about the 100 Places to Eat blog.  I've been introduced to some really cool restaurants.  

I assume Fuel is a remodeled old gas station.  That's exactly what it looks like, and it explains the name of the restaurant.

I went with my mom and brother.  The blog says you are supposed to get the Fuel Fries Trio.  That name isn't actually on the menu, but the waitress said it was the regular Fuel fries with all three dipping sauces.  Now, I'm terrible, because I completed forgot to get the names of all three sauces.  They were all very unique.  I honestly have no idea what could be in any of them.  I'm so clueless about that stuff.

All I know is that they were delicious!  The fries are incredible.  I was so disappointed when the french fries stopped!  

My only complaint about our visit was the fact that the waitress didn't see us, so we had to wait 10 minutes before even being seen.  After that, the service was very prompt.  Also, their menu is a little confusing.  You can't really tell which dishes are lunch and which are dinner.  

A Teacher's Thoughts about Going Back to School

I apologize if this seems like random thoughts, because it is.  I have so many thoughts, I can't keep them straight.  I hope you can.

How can anyone drop a child off at school tomorrow?  I have been sitting here asking myself this question over and over again.  Could I drop my child off?

I didn't expect to be this emotional tonight.  As I was getting ready for bed, all I could think about was the different options I have in my classroom for keeping my students safe.  This is not something a teacher, or anyone, should ever have to think about.

Last week, one of our vocabulary words was refuge.  We were talking about it meaning "a safe place."  I remember telling the students that they should look at school almost like a refuge, because it's a safe place for them.  If that was a vocabulary word this coming week, I definitely wouldn't be using that same analogy.

As freaked out as I am as a teacher to go to school tomorrow, my heart is with parents who will be reluctantly dropping students off tomorrow.  I know it will be gut-wrenching to watch them leave the car and walk into school.  (I can't believe this is what we've come to!)

I don't know that I would send my child to school tomorrow, but would keeping them home make life any safer?

No.  No one is promised tomorrow.

James 4:14 says, "Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes."

So, even though part of me may want to stay curled up in my couch in a fetal position tomorrow, I wouldn't be any safer than I am at school.  I would also be showing my students that it's okay to let fear win.  (That said, if you make the choice to keep your child home, I absolutely do not blame you.  Since I don't have any children, I don't honestly know what I would do.)

By going to school tomorrow, our kids will know that idiot jerk-face cowards don't win.  We will show the world that we are brave.  We will honor the 26 killed at Sandy Hook by not letting fear rule the day.

I can't promise a lot about tomorrow, but I can promise the following:

I can promise that I will greet all of my students with a huge smile and a comforting hug tomorrow morning.  I promise that in the event of something unthinkable happening, I will put their lives before my own.  I promise to look at each one of them from the perspective of their parents.  I promise to see the best in them.  I promise to be the best teacher I know how to be.  I promise to send them home with a smile on their face.

God bless the families in Connecticut who have broken hearts tonight.

My Favorite Part of Every Day

Do you have something that brings you joy every single day?  I definitely do.

It's curling up in bed next to Michael every night.

Most nights, he's already asleep.  He gets up about 2 hours before me, so we don't always get to fall asleep together.  He gets in bed around 9:30.  Usually, I go to the gym.  Sometimes, I stay up and watch TV and play online.  (Glee is on right now!)

But, no matter how hard the day, at the end of it, I can count on the warmth I feel in my heart crawling in bed next to him.

What do you look forward to every day?

-C

The Joy of Running and Prenatal Vitamins

Tonight I ran.  I ran and ran and ran.

Okay, really, it was only 6 miles.

But, man, it felt great.

I haven't had a true "Corrie Workout" in a while.

I've been doing 30 minutes on the elliptical here, a little walking there, and maybe a mile of running occasionally.

Tonight, while watching the Pats slaughter the Texans, I ran for a full hour.  It was actually 59 minutes.  I got a killer side crap at that point.

After that, I came home, took a shower, and took a prenatal vitamin.

The prenatal vitamin is significant.

Since that awful day two weeks ago, every time I go to the bathroom, I find myself staring at the stack of samples the doctor gave me.  I haven't taken any since that day.

For the past 14 days, all I could think was, "What's the point?"

For some reason, tonight, I felt like there was a point.  I felt like there was hope.  I felt like maybe, just maybe, the third time could be the charm.

Could this feeling of hope be connected to the awesome run I had?

Who knows.

Could I be delusional thanks to the endorphins that come from exercising?  Probably.

But, all I know is that somewhere deep within me, I felt like it was time to get my body ready to start trying again.

First, I have to have a followup doctor's appointment.  There's no trying until I get the all clear.  Hopefully, that will come next week.

Thanks for reading, and thanks for supporting me.

Also, to the person I never met, who sent me the sweet card, thank you.

-Corrie

Product Recommendation: Fab.com

I'm in love with this website, but I haven't purchased anything from it yet.

Fab.com

I'm sure you've seen advertisements for it.  It actually sometimes shows up on my blog as a sponsor.

This website has the most interesting knick-knacks.  

The cool thing is that you can purchase these things for a discount off their usual price.  I guess it's a way for companies to get there products out there.  They offer a limited amount at a discount, then when they sell out, you go to their website and pay a little more.  

*Be aware!  Some of the items are not for kids.  Don't let your children use this website. 

Here are some of my favorites:  (You can click on the pictures to link to the product.)

http://fab.com/

Worry

Worry is a terrible thing.

I am the world's biggest worrier.  About five times a day, I'll ask Michael about different concerns I have.  He just rolls his eyes.

It's a problem, and I know it's a problem.

With the miscarriage, my worries have turned a bit more serious.

Will we ever have a successful pregnancy?
Will that trip to the ER be way too expensive?
My husband has now seen me at my least glamorous.  Does he still find me attractive?
If we try again and miscarry again, will I be able to get out of bed?
Will I ever feel whole again?
Will my parents ever get to be grandparents?
Is it my fault we aren't getting pregnant?
Will this help or hurt our marriage?

Today at church, God answered all of these questions.

A song came on that talked about sorrow and concerns.  God immediately brought me to the following verse:

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matt 6:34

I immediately felt a peace that I don't think I've felt since we found out about baby #2.  

-C

Tonight it was the Pregnant Girl at the Gym

I'm minding my own business on the treadmill, when in walks this pretty blond girl.  She's about my age.

She's pregnant.

Two weeks ago I saw this same girl at the gym.  I smiled to myself and thought about how it wouldn't be too long until I was as big as her.

Tonight when she walked into the gym, it was like I couldn't get out there soon enough.

Once in the privacy of my car, the tears started flowing.

Every day it's something.

Yesterday, it was Kate Middleton announcing her pregnancy.

The day before that, it was the friend's ultrasound picture on Facebook.

It's always something.

I hate that I feel this way.  HATE IT.

I want to be happy for people.  I want to share in their joy.  Right now, I can feel is sadness and jealousy.

I don't want to be that person.

I'm afraid I'm going to feel this way for months to come.  Until I'm holding my own little baby in my arms, I don't know how I can feel any other way.

I'm prayerful that God will bring me comfort and help me to feel some more positive vibes.

Product Recommendation: Janice Sung Designs

I am in LOVE with my friend Janice's earring creations!

Not only are the earrings gorgeous, the packaging is adorable! 

They are beautiful! 

Check out some of these pictures!

Janice Sung Designs 

Janice Sung Designs

Janice Sung Designs

I'm officially in love with all of them, but the yellow roses are my favorite.  HINT HINT!

Full disclosure:  Janice is one of my closest friends, but I'd be purchasing these anyway.  

To purchase her earrings, check out her Etsy site!  

25 Ways to Wear a Scarf

I am so not fashionable.  I really like wearing scarves.  Until five minutes ago, I only knew of two ways to wear it.

Thanks to this video, I now know 25 ways.

So cool!

(I'm sure this video is really old, but I'm just now discovering it!)

Charity Miles App - I need more info!

Running is my therapy.  When I need to get away, I hit the pavement.  Sometimes I literally hit the pavement.  I fall more than an adult should.

Anyway, I saw a Facebook friend was using this app called Charity Miles to run.  I normally use Run Keeper.

Run Keeper keeps your pace, distance, time, and your records.

Charity Miles keeps up with your time and distance, but it also claims to give money to the charity of your choice for each mile you run, walk, or bike.  You get $.10 for biking a mile and $.25 for running or walking.

For my run today, I chose the Wounded Warrior Project.

After running 4 miles, I stopped the App.  I expected it to say something like, "Way to go!  You just raised $1.00 for Wounded Warrior Project."  But, it didn't.  It gave me a post to put on Facebook that said I was a sponsored runner.

So, truly, I don't know if it worked.  I never got a confirmation that the money was given to WWP, but I'm hopeful it did.

I recommend checking this out if you are a runner.  I will say, knowing that each mile was worth a quarter, kept me going.  I felt like stopping around mile 3 today, but I finished strong and completed 4 miles.

Please let me know if you have heard about this, or have proof that it works!  I want to know more!

Fun Times Hunting with Michael

Friday, Michael took me hunting.  I've helped him put up a deer stand before, but this was the first time I actually got up in the deer stand with him.

Hunting is not really anything I've ever been that interested in doing.

I do not all understand why anyone would ever want to get up at 4:00 AM to go hang out 10 feet up in the air and look for Bambi.  If Michael had tried to actually get me up at 4, I would never had agreed to go.  Since he wanted me to go on an afternoon hunt, I obliged.  

So, off into the woods we went.

The Woods

I will say, there is definitely something attractive about a man who can kill his own food.  When inflation hits, we won't be hit as hard!

My Fearless Leader

We walked about half a mile to the deer stand.  Now, I don't consider myself afraid of heights, but deer stands scare me.  They just don't seem that secure.  Nevertheless, up we went.

I like this picture for so many reasons. :)

This was our view from the stand.  I grew up watching Bambi, so I couldn't help but notice the similarities between this location and the meadow in Bambi.

The Meadow

Unfortunately, we did not see any deer.  I was a little disappointed, because that would have been exciting.  I was really hoping to see Michael in action.  

All in all, we had fun. 

The only annoying thing is the fact that we kept stepping on these prickly things that we apparently brought back with us in our clothing.

Annoying Prickly Things

Will I go back?  I would be willing to go back to the stand, but it would have to be in the afternoon!  It was fun spending time with Michael, but I'm only good for about an hour and a half.  After that, I get bored and have to go to the bathroom!

100 Things to Eat in Memphis: Sakura's Joyce Roll

It's back!  We finally went to another place on the 100 Things to Eat in Memphis Before You Die list.  

Tonight's treat:  The Joyce Roll at Sakura in East Memphis.  

HOLY SMOKES!  This is my favorite thing on the list so far!

It's deep fried sushi with crawfish, shrimp tempura, avocado, fish eggs, and a delicious sauce.

Joyce Roll at Sakura

This is a must try.  Even if you aren't a sushi person, there is no way you won't like this!