Updates: More Testing and Stella

Time for some updates!

The road to pregnancy after two miscarriages is filled with lots of questions, lots of testing, and very few answers.  

Exhibit A

I have become very familiar with this little tool over the last few months.  I really shouldn't call it little.  It's an ultrasound wand.  As you can tell, it's not for rubbing on the tummy.  I laughed out loud at another blogger who compared it to being the world's worst joystick.  I think today was my fourth or fifth time to experience the wand.  

It was not fun, as always, and today I felt more exposed than ever.  I had what's called a sonohystogram.  Basically, the doctor squirts some water up my lady parts.  It somehow inflates my lady parts and makes any irregularities obvious.  

As quickly as the water is squirted into you, it starts coming out.  So, it almost feels like your peeing and can't control it.  There is some cramping involved, but it just hurt REALLY bad for a second.  After it was over, I had a little bit of pain.. but not too much.  The worst part was how exposed I felt.  Over the past few months, my doctor has seen me at about every possible unflattering angle.  Today, it was the worst.  I was in his face as much as I possibly could be, THEN he turned a lamp on.  He's had a lamp on before, but never have I felt like I was in his face this much.  So, if there was any part of me the doctor had not seen, he could now.  

My "Just Beautiful" Lady Parts

Fortunately, (or unfortunately) I have "beautiful ovaries and a beautiful uterus."  Those are the words of the lady who performed my ultrasound with the doctor.  I say unfortunately, because once again I am left with no answers.  No explanation why my life has been upside down since June.  I am so grateful that there is nothing wrong, but I want to know WHY WHY WHY a baby can't thrive in my body.  

After the sonohystogram was over, Michael and I made another trip into the doctor's actual office.  Before June, I had been in a doctor's actual office, with his actual desk, only once in my life.  Now, Michael and I have our own couch in there.  He said we now have several options.  We can try again without any changes, we can try again with progesterone suppositories, or we can go with chromosomal testing.  

We aren't quite to the point of wanting to do chromosomal testing.  It's pretty expensive, and it would be very rare for there to be something wrong there.  If we have another miscarriage, I think we will definitely want to do that.  

We have decided to start using progesterone suppositories.  After I ovulate, I'll start taking them.  I'm prayerful this will help.

We've also decided to make an appointment with a doctor who specializes in infertility and recurrent miscarriage.  I'll keep you updated.

***

I am so thankful for the Hopeful Hearts group I have started going to every other Wednesday.  A group of girls all struggling with infertility, miscarriage, or adoption meet to discuss life.  I am able to discuss things with these ladies that no one else in my life understands.  We cry, laugh, and pray together.  We also share a lot of information.  I can't believe how much I've learned from these ladies in just a few short weeks!

***

Stella is growing like a weed.  

We had our three month check-up with Stella today.  She's happy and healthy!  I can't even remember what life was like without her!  :)

Here she is one month ago.  (8 lbs)

Here she is now!  She doubled her weight in month.  (17.5 lbs)

This is her morning hair.

Thanks for reading!!

Life with Stella

I haven't blogged a lot this month.  I blame school, a nasty stomach virus, and Stella for this.

School of course is back in session.  We are going full speed ahead as we prepare for TCAP.  This is a very stressful time of year, but it's a lot of fun too.

Michael and I both got a horrible stomach virus.  I think I threw up 18 times...literally.  It was awful.  It took me out of commission for about a week.  The only positive part of it was the fact that I lost five pounds from it!

Life with Stella has been so much fun.  It's also been a lot of hard work.  Currently, she's trying to escape ever single pen she's put in.

I'm currently trolling the internet looking for a new doggie gate.  Anything that's affordable doesn't seem to work.

Stell is really too smart for her own good!

I've also started attending a support group/bible study for women who struggle with infertility and recurrent pregnancy loss.  It's really been therapeutic to get to listen to the many stories of other women like me.  Not only has it been good for the soul, but I'm also gaining a lot of knowledge from these ladies.  They are a wealth of information.

So, that's January in a nutshell!  I hope your year has started off great!

The Story of Stella

Oh my goodness, I am in love with Stella "Arf" Tois.  Stella is our two month old lab/retriever mix we just adopted from Memphis Animal Services (Shelter).

The only think we know about Stella is that she was picked up by MAS on 12/15/12 as a stray.  WHO COULD LET THIS SWEET PUPPY GO?!?!

She's been in our home for only one full day, and I can't even begin to think about life without her.  I used to be one of those who kinda made fun of crazy dog-lovers.  Now, I'm one of them.

I'm already stressing about how I'm going to handle leaving her at home when I go back to work in a little over a week.  It makes me tear up just thinking about it.

We met Stella on Wednesday.  I have to be honest.  I took notice, but wasn't immediately drawn to Stella.  I had my eyes set on another dog that looked like Marley from Marley and Me.  When we went to check her out a little bit closer, another family was also looking at her.   I was ready to jump on it and snatch that dog before the other family, but Michael said no.  They had a little girl, and Michael wasn't about to take her away.  I was pretty upset.  

Then, we walked past Stella's cage again.  She was next to a terrier.  We were really looking at both, but the terrier was going a little crazy.  She seemed like the jealous type.  Stella was doing her part to get our attention, but she wasn't acting crazy.  Michael really really liked her.  He especially liked her brindle color.  The only problem was, she wasn't ready to be adopted.  We would have to come back on Friday to actually adopt her.  

We put our name on a list for her.  No one else had a name on her list.  The terrier had four!  Craziness!  Putting our name on the list did not guarantee us getting her.  We would have to be at the shelter Friday at 11:00.  If we were there at 11:00, she was ours.  (This of course was only if there was nothing wrong with her after she was observed for another two days.)

I cannot tell you how long those two days were.  At this point, I too had fallen in love with Stella.  She just had the sweetest personality.

Finally, Friday came.  Michael had to work, so Mom and Andrew met me at the shelter.  When the doors opened at 11:00, it was like a mad dash for people to get to their dog's cage before anyone else.  I was nervous, because I didn't think it would be that chaotic.  I thought that since I was there, I would get her.  That was probably the case, but I wasn't taking chances.  I ran back to her cage and got her paperwork, and came back up front.  

Thank goodness, we were one of the first five families to check out Friday, because they were only spaying the first five before Christmas.  This meant, we would get to get her either Saturday or Sunday.  I was ecstatic!  

I was out running errands on Saturday when I got the call.  We would be allowed to pick her up at 1:00.  I bought a kennel, and brought her home.  I didn't even put her in the kennel because I just wanted to love on her the whole way home.  She set in my lap.  She was shaking shaking!  I think she was so nervous.  There is no telling what her life was like before we adopted her.  

She has brought so much joy to our lives.  Joy that we desperately needed.  I'm already in full mommy-mode worried about her first check-up.  I hope everything checks out okay!  I'm so thankful we met her.  She is truly the best Christmas present I've ever gotten!

Also, if I thought Michael was hot before the dog, seeing him with a dog... I can't stop staring!