Monday, January 26, 2015

4 Pregnancies, 1 Baby

The rug was pulled out from under me today.

Michael and I found out we had our third miscarriage.

I was happy and at peace, confident today would be the first time I would get to see our new baby's heartbeat.

Instead, we were told that there had been no change since last week and that we should be seeing much more at this point.



Sick to my stomach.

How can this be?  How did my body figure out how to keep our beautiful little Presley safe and sound for 9 months, then all of a sudden forget how to keep a baby?

I did allow myself to consider that I might have a miscarriage, but I told myself it wouldn't hurt nearly as bad as it did before Presley.  That is not so true.  While it felt so wonderful to hold her tight after our awful appointment, I am still in so much emotional pain.

I stupidly bought Presley a "Big Sister" shirt when we first found out.  Now, it sits in my closet.  Maybe, she'll still be able to fit into it when a successful pregnancy does happen.  I am hopeful she will.

Thank you for your prayers.