Monday, June 25, 2012
I'm trying to move on and get past the loss of the baby. It's
incredibly hard. One minute I'm fine, then next I'm a basket case.
It's helpful to have such a wonderful husband. I've never felt this
close to him. Being wrapped up in his arms at night can cure just
Friends have also been helpful. My cousin Becca invited me over to
swim. We just stayed out in the sun and talked for a couple of hours.
It was good to just relax.
Also giving us hope is knowing that our own friends have been through
what we're going through. Saturday night we found out about a couple
who tried for six months to have a baby, got pregnant, then had a
miscarriage at almost the same time we did. Two months later they were
pregnant again. They now have a very beautiful 6 month old.
Still, the not knowing is the worst part. What if we try to get
pregnant again, but are unsuccessful? Worse yet, what if we go through
another miscarriage? I can't stand the thought. I don't know what
would be much lower than that. I know people go through this, but I
don't know how they make it.
It's at times like these that I wish we could fast forward one year and
see how things are. I hope at this point next year I'll have just
delivered a healthy little baby boy or girl. But who knows? It's at
times like this that you just have to have faith. I'm trying, but gosh
this is hard.
Another thing that's helping is throwing myself into exercise. I gave
myself all of last week to finish mourning. I allowed my self to be
lazy and drink wine. This week, I may still drink some wine, but I am
exercising like crazy. I want my body to be in tip top shape when we
are given the okay to start trying again.
Thanks for reading!