Changes Since Pregnancy

I am so sorry I haven't been updating this blog.  We haven't had a doctor's appointment in three weeks, so there really hasn't been that much to talk about.  (Today, we are officially at 13 weeks.  Which means, we are in the 2nd trimester!!)

Our next appointment is in a week.  This month long wait is KILLING me.  I say that, but in the same breath, it's been a bit of a relief.

When we were going weekly, I was freaking out weekly - every single day that I had a doctor's appointment.  Since I am having to wait, I feel like I've actually calmed down a bit.

There have been a couple of freak out moments.  I don't want to give TMI, but I had a SPECK, I mean the tiniest speck of blood you've ever seen in my panties.  It could have been from anything.  It wasn't bigger that the tip of a needle.  But, I flipped out.  I had been at the gym.  I called Michael, but it was 11:00 PM and he was dead to the world.  So, I called my mom.  Thankfully, she calmed me down.  I haven't had any symptoms at all since then, so I think it was just some sort of weird fluke.

I have noticed some changes in my life since becoming pregnant.

1.  I am no longer a night owl.  Usually, I'm up until at least midnight.  These days, I fall asleep on the couch around 9:00, usually wake up at midnight, then head straight to bed.  This had been bad for my exercise routine.

2.  I am working on becoming a morning person, but I still find it very hard to wake up before 6:45.

3.  I have fallen love with chicken.  I've always loved chicken, but it seems that is the only thing I can really eat and not worry about having an aversion.  Other foods freak me out sometimes.  We went to one of my favorite BBQ restaurants, and all I could stomach on the menu was a kid's grilled cheese sandwich.  That is SOOO not me.

4.  We've renovated our kitchen.  This is not really a result of the baby.  Michael surprised me on Valentine's Day and told me we were doing it.  Baby wasn't made until a little later that month, so actually, the baby was probably a result of me being really excited to have a new kitchen.  :)  Either way, the kitchen is going to be awesome to have when the baby comes around.

5.  I have completely lost my endurance I had built up from running.  I haven't been doing my normal exercising, so it's just one.  I was actually just doing some prenatal arm workouts, and I ran out of breath looking for my weights.  PATHETIC!  I'm hoping now that I am in the second trimester, my energy level will get better and I'll be able to do a little more walking.

6.  I have EXTREME emotions.  I've always been a crier, so this isn't really anything new.  But, I've noticed I get upset or laugh at the drop of a hat.  Michael said something while we were watching Jeopardy the other day.  It wasn't meant to be funny.  I think the sound stopped working.  He said something like, "Well Alex, we've lost our sound."  For some reason, I giggled and giggled and cried laughing for like five minutes.  How ridiculous.  Though, I'd rather have the crazy laughing than the crazy crying.

7.  My belly is getting bigger, but I'm not sure if it is the food and lack of exercise or if it's the baby.  I'm sure it's a mixture of both.

8.  Michael and I are in the process of joining Highpoint Church.  We have really discovered how much we love it there.  I can't wait to get involved!

Anyway, I hope to update you guys with great news in a week.  Thanks so much for the prayers.  Love to you all!

Muddy's

Muddy's is one of my favorite happy places in Memphis.  Every time I go, I forget how absolutely wonderful their cupcakes are.  The list says to have the Prozac cupcakes.  They will make you smile, just as the name suggests.  This is probably the most consistently amazing dessert in Memphis.  HANDS DOWN.  If you need a sweet tooth fix, GO HERE!

Central BBQ

I have had NO time to blog over the past few weeks.  In that time, I knocked Central BBQ off my list of places to eat in Memphis.  We had a great night with Becca and Davis.  Check out her blog.  It's awesome!

We had the BBQ nachos on Central's homemade chips.  It was delicious.  Though, my favorite BBQ nachose are The Commissary's!

The Sweetest Sound

All that worry and anxiety for nothing!  We got to hear the heartbeat.

Could not control the tears when the nurse finally found it!

She spent a good minute trying to find it.  Just as I started to freak out we hear the sound.

WOOM WOOM WOOM WOOM WOOM WOOM WOOM!

It was just so beautiful.

We go back in four weeks.  Yes, FOUR WEEKS!  I have to wait that long.  I'm seriously considering renting a fetal heart rate monitor.  The only reason I'm not doing it is because I am worried that if I couldn't find it, I'd freak out.

I've got to figure out a way to control the anxiety I feel, because while I am on top of the world right now, tomorrow, I could start freaking out again.

So, to sum up... We are at 10 weeks today.  We go back in four weeks.  Thanks so much for your prayers!

-Corrie

Anxiety

I feel like I write a lot about feeling anxious, but this week has been the WORST of the worst.

The weekend after we went to the doctor on March 28th, I felt wonderful.  On top of the world.  It was like the time when Michael and I first fell in love.  Birds were singing.  Butterflies fluttering.  Just wonderful.  We had gotten wonderful baby news!

Then, in the days after the weekend, the anxiety crept in.  Today, the pastor at our church called it, "The Voice."

I started feeling awful, depressed, hopeless.  I don't know exactly what caused it.  I went to the gym to workout one night.  I didn't do anything crazy.  I ran about three miles.  The rest of the time, I spent walking.  But for some reason, I had myself convinced that my run had hurt the baby.  The next day, I really started to panic, because I had horrible cramps.  I THINK these were more gas pains,  (Sorry, TMI!)  but I'm not 100% sure.  It could have been miscarriage cramps.  At least, that's what the voice keeps telling me.  I've also had some discharge that I experienced with the last miscarriage.  But, discharge is normal during pregnancy.  (That's what the websites say.)  Either way, I have myself convinced that we are going to get bad news tomorrow.

I don't know how to quiet this negative voice that is keeping me in such a frightened state.  I want to enjoy this pregnancy, but all I do is worry.

I dread and live for every single doctor's appointment.  I will be a nervous wreck tomorrow at school.

Please, just pray for an ease in the anxiety.  Pray for good news tomorrow.

Thanks.